Baltimore Orioles Christmas Presents from Santa
Feb 25, 2015; Sarasota, FL, USA; Players emerge from the clubhouse during Baltimore Orioles spring training workouts at Ed Smith Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Reinhold Matay-USA TODAY Sports
As in 2014, I have an unidentified confidant who works in the Warehouse and who was able to again sneak into the offices of the Baltimore Orioles and find out what various players and Birds personnel got from Santa this year.
This may not be a complete list, but it does represent what my deep throat spy was able to remember from what he saw there.
To Chris Davis: Unlimited gift certificates to the Red, Hot and Blue Barbeque restaurants … but they must be redeemed in person.
To Adam Jones: A copy of Dale Carnegie’s classic book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” … to be re-gifted to Jose Bautista the next time he see him.
To J.J. Hardy: Three bottles of Doan’s Extra Strength Magnesium Salicylate Tetrahydrate Pain Reliever Caplets … for backache relief.
To Miguel Gonzalez and Chris Tillman: A “Back to the Future” DeLorean time machine with a working flux capacitor in order to take them back to 2014 and bring 2014 back to 2016. Great Scott!!
To Ubaldo Jimenez: A Craftsman Mach Series 53-Piece Ratchet Tool Set … to use to tighten and adjust all the moving parts of his delivery.
To Darren O’Day: (See Chris Davis)
To Brian Matusz: Two large bottles of Goo Gone Pro-Power Cleaner … which says on the label: “Pro Power formula is enhanced to tackle the toughest jobs — there’s no job too big or too small … a dependable adhesive remover, taking care of all of the sticky, gooey, gummy messes in your life.”
To Hyun Soo Kim: A Korean>>English dictionary.
To Roch Kubatko: An English>>Korean dictionary.
To Pitching Coach Dave Wallace: A case of Refresh Eye Drops.
To Nolan Reimold: A yearly extension of the patience of Job to understand why a .344 OBP does not get you in the lineup most days.
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To Owner Peter Angelos: As many wins for his racehorse named Showalter as his manager of the same name gets in 2016.
To Adam Jones: Another year’s supply of drill bits so that he can “keep grinding.”
To Equipment Manager Christopher Guth: A Collection of uniforms with the names Gallardo, Span, and Morneau.
To Caleb Joseph: A double dose of game-winning RBIs and clutch home runs for having the most gracious attitude about the return of Matt Wieters.
To Orioles Fans: Weeks of October baseball.
To the City of Baltimore: Peace
To the USA: Peace
To the World: Peace